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We are located in northeastern Indiana.
You may reach us at
(260) 665-1823
or email at parsonspet s@msn.com

Thanks for visiting! Come back soon for another visit!

The Cowboy

A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture
when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The
driver, a young man in a Bryony suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and
YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly
how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it
to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the
Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an
exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens
the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing
facility in Hamburg , Germany . Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then
accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with
e-mail on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
response.Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his
hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy
and says, "You have exactly 1,5 86 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the
cowboy. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then the
cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your
business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though
nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a
question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you
are; and you don't know a thing about cows, this is a herd of sheep.

"Now give me back my dog."

A lime green frog walked into a bank one day to apply for a loan. Miss Patty Wack invited him into her office to talk about the terms. They
had a nice chat during which Miss Patty Wack learned that Mr. Frog's father was a musician in a famous rock band.    When she finally asked
him what he had for collateral he smiled and then set a small pink porcelain elephant on her desk. She veiwed it skeptically, but she picked it
up and excused herself to go talk to her supervisor, Mr. Flyback. She sheepishly showed Mr. Flyback the elephant and told him the details
of Mr. Frog's application for a loan. When she was through Mr. Flyback cleared his throat and said, "It's a nick nack, Miss Patty Wack, give
the frog a loan. His old man is a Rollin' Stone!"

Thank you, Griffin, (my son's best friend) for this joke!

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle.

The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time.

The males are speechless before her beauty, slobbering on themselves and hoping for just a glance from her in return.

Aware of her charms and her obvious effect on the three suitors, she decides to be kind and tells them, "The first one who can use the words
'liver' and 'cheese' together in an imaginative, intelligent sentence can go out with me."

The sturdy, muscular black Lab speaks up quickly and says, "I love liver and cheese."

"Oh, how childish," said the Poodle. "That shows no imagination or intelligence whatsoever."

She turns to the tall, shiny Golden Retriever and says "How well can you do?"

"Um. I HATE liver and cheese," blurts the Golden Retriever.

"My, my," said the Poodle. "I guess it's hopeless. That's just as dumb as the Lab's sentence."

She then turns to the last of the three dogs and says, "How about you, little guy?"

The last of the three, tiny in stature but big in fame and finesse, is the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

He gives her a smile and a sly wink and turning to the Golden Retriever and the Lab he says ....

(ok this is good)

"Liver alone, fellas, cheese mine."

CAT AND MOUSE!

A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking."

The cat thought for a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."

God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the
mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat

The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs, and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would not have
to run again." God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How
have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, it is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life. The pillow is so fluffy, and those little Meals on Wheels you have been sending over are
delicious!"

Forrest Gump Goes To Heaven

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest
approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have
been ministering an entrance examination for everyone.

The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven." Forrest responds, "It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever told me
about any entrance exam. I sure hope that the test ain't too hard. Life was a big enough test as it was."

St. Peter continued, "Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions. First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many
seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God's first name?"

Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up, and says, "Now that you have had a chance to think
the questions over, tell me your answers."

Forrest replied, "Well, the first one -- which two days in the week >begins with the letter "T"? Shucks, that one is easy. That would be Today and Tomorrow."

The Saint's eyes opened wide and he exclaimed, "Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I did not specify, so I will give you
credit for that answer.

How about the next one?" asked St. Peter. "How many seconds in a year? Now that one is harder," replied Forrest, but I thunk and thunk about that, and I
guess the only answer can be twelve."

Astounded, St. Peter said, "Twelve? Twelve? Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?" Forrest replied, "Shucks,
there's got to be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd.... " "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see where you are going with this, and I see your point,
though that was not quite what I had in mind.....but I will have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let us go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God's first name"? "Sure," Forrest replied, "it's Andy." "Andy?" exclaimed an exasperated and
frustrated St Peter. "Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the
name Andy as the first name of God?"

"Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," Forrest replied. "I learnt it from the song we sang in church. "ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY!
TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . "

St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:

"Run Forrest, run."

Give me a sense of humor, Lord. Give me the ability to understand a clean joke, To get some humor out of life, and to pass it on to other folk!

Thank you, William
Boetcker, for this joke!

New Bar In Town

In a small mid western conservative town, a new bar/tavern started a building and planning to open up their business. The local
Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed, however right up
till the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church
was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means. The church
vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the buildings demise in its reply to the court.

As the case made it's way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, "I don't know how I'm
going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner that believes in the power of prayer, and an
entire church congregation that doesn't!"

Keith with our children!

My husband and me.

I hope you enjoy the music, but if you do not, you may use the
control below to stop. If you did indeed enjoy the song and want
to hear it again, you can replay the song using the control. This
song is So much for my Sad Song by Chris Rice.

A little girl asked her father, "How did the Human race appear?" The father answered, "God made Adam and Eve
in His image, and they had children whose children had children, and so on ...and so was all mankind created.
Later, the girl asked her mother the same question. The mother answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys
from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl returned to her father and said, "Dad, how is it that you told me the Human race was created by
God, and Mama said they developed from monkeys?"
The father answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, And your Mama told you
about hers."